Garbage Man

An Yamazaki

Final Draft

Garbage Man

My father is lazy. However, some people might not agree with me. At his workplace, he works harder than others, so his co-workers praise him for his diligence. In contrast, at home he does not do anything, nor does he help my mother. She, therefore, scolds him for his laziness. Nevertheless, since the Korean government enforced a new law in 1995, the Volume-Rate Garbage Disposal System, my father changed. To put it simply, the new law says that every home must separate their trash and put the trash into standard plastic garbage bags. The bags were determined by the government. If people did not follow the law, they had to pay a fine. The idea was that by purchasing the bags, every house paid a garbage fee. The garbage fee was determined by how many bags every house used. This way, the government could reduce amount of trash. Consequently, the new law affected my lazy father.

 The Volume-Rate Garbage Disposal System made our house a garbage dump. The law was not as simple as we thought. Before the law was implemented, we just threw trash away into a bin outside, so we did not have to keep garbage inside our home. However, after the law was implemented, we had to keep garbage at home because of my lazy father. He postponed buying the standard plastic garbage bags. When he went to a grocery store to buy the bags, he was not able to purchase them because everybody bought them in bulk. I still do not know why, but people did, so the bags were sold out. That was why we had to hold on to the trash until we could get the bags, so my home became a dump in next to no time. During this time, when I got home and opened the door, an offensive smell greeted me before my puppy. My brother and I did not want to go home. We hung out at our friends’ houses as much as we could because they already had gotten the bags. Consequently, a lot of bugs who lived in our village hung out at my house as much as they could. My mother could not stand it, so she reluctantly threw the trash away without using the standard garbage bags. As a result, my parents had to pay a fine.

The unexpected issue made my father step into housework, and my father became in charge of garbage. After he paid the fine, he declared, “I will be in charge of the garbage, and I will throw it away.” My brother and I called him the Garbage Man, but not to his face. We were surprised because my father is a typical Korean man who does not cook, clean the house, or do the dishes. He was taught that men do not go into a kitchen, and that men never attend to housework. Nowadays, these kinds of ideologies are out of date, but some people of my father’s generation still think that way. If he did not pay the fine, my father would not do any housework no matter how dirty our house was. It was also clear that bugs seemed to love my father because he gave them a new place to play. I still remember my mother’s delighted face the first day when my father threw trash away. At first, it went well, and everybody was happy. However, as my father realized that our home had more trash than other homes and our happiness slowly went away.

This is what happened. Garbage and money got married. Before the law was implemented, they were divorced. Nevertheless, after the law was implemented, they were married because my father had to buy the garbage bags in order to throw trash away. He did not want to spend a lot of money for trash, so the garbage bags made my father stingy like Mr. Scrooge. In other words, after my father became the garbage man, he also became the Money Man. He made his own new law, which we named the Volume-Rate Tissue Disposal System. He ordered, “ From now on, we are going to use each tissue at least twice.” When we heard that, of course we thought he was joking, but he was serious. When we just threw the tissues away as usual, he nagged us. It was weird. How could we reuse used tissues? I was in a dilemma. I really did not want to reuse used tissues. However, I had no choice, and I had to follow my father’s law. Therefore, I had to keep used tissues in my pockets or purses. Then my brother and I changed his name to “Money Man”, but not to his face.  As time went by his passion for trash lessened, and after a few years he retired from the Garbage Man. This was because he was lazy. Also, even though he retired from the Garbage Man, we still had to use tissues over and over and over and over and over… again.

This is my lazy father. I am lazy as well. Some people might not agree with me. At my job I work harder than others, so my co-workers praise me for my diligence. In contrast, at home I do not throw tissues away, and my husband scolds me for my laziness. I do not want to admit it, but it has become my bad habit. I also like to reuse used tissues. I have to keep the tissues if they look reusable. When I just throw them away, I feel guilty. Thus, there are always used tissues on my table or nightstand. My husband only nags me when I keep used tissues. He constantly tells me, “ You are lazy!” Breaking old habits is not easy. No, it is extremely hard. Thanks, Daddy…