My Lost Experiences in America

My Lost Experiences in America

            I had never been more excited and anxious in my life. America is a country that I was going to discover in my new stage of life. Many people have probably heard about America while they were in elementary school, a country where the people think about freedom, equality, and the opportunity to achieve goals that they could not achieve in their hometown. However, what I thought about America is quite distinct from what people think. For me, America is a place where my husband and I can live together, and a place for my family to reunite. Although I had knowledge of the United States, I was surprised by how much I still did not know the diversity of cultures, the feelings of loneliness for my home and family, and the social isolation were experiences I had not planned for.

  
 

             I have been living in the United States almost three years, and this was not a short time for a new immigrant I thought; nevertheless, everything seems to be new to me, because I still get confused sometimes  in this country that contains various cultures. In some Asian countries, like Vietnam, New Year is the biggest holiday of a year. When I was in my hometown, everybody in my family gathered together on the New Year’s Eve, and enjoyed the food that  was prepared by my mom. In addition, chicken, fish, and shrimp must be included in our meal because they meant good luck throughout the year. While in America, Thanksgiving is a significant public holiday that people celebrate. As a tradition, people in the family also reunite to celebrate together, and an abundance of food is prepared; instead of chicken, turkey is their signature dish. It was surprising to me the first time I saw the turkey at my uncle’s party, for it was very big. In addition, as a part of being American, I wanted to discover what is called “Black Friday Sales.” I asked my husband to drive me around the city, and I saw a lot of people lined up very early and for long hours waiting for crazy sales. I wondered why people would stand in the cold weather and line up for long hours to buy something while the sales events happen throughout the year. Maybe this is one of the characteristics of Thanksgiving, but it was foreign to me.

             
               Family memories are another aspect that I have not overcome yet. I went to the United States to reunite with my husband, and  to start my new life with. Starting a new role as a wife and a mom was not easy, especially considering that I had to live with parents-in-law and far away from my real parents. Thus, it made me miss my parents in Vietnam even more. In the beginning, I did not even say any words to others except my husband. I wanted to cry, but I could not. Therefore, I called and talked to my parents every single day, but I did not tell them how much I missed them because I did not want to make them worry about me. Moreover, I also missed  celebrating  my birthday with my parents. When I was in Vietnam, my mom would usually cook me a dish of noodles and gave me a red envelope, as she said that it means I will have longevity. Then, my parents, my brother and I would go to celebrate  in a restaurant. When I wanted to settle the bill, my father  stopped me. “Today is your birthday, let dad and mom cover,” my father said. My birthday now, in America, has no more longevity noodles, red envelope, or celebration with family. What I have is just a small birthday cake from my husband, and only we eat it together with my son. 

 

            
              The thing that made me feel more depressed was lack of confidence to communicate in this new land. I know English. I learned it in my country because it was required for my job. Therefore, I did not have trouble with English in my hometown; however, it has been totally different since I have arrived  in the United States. I remembered the first time when my husband and I went to the shopping mall. I could not understand what the cashier said to me. I responded, just liked a baby starting his/her first word. I thought my English was too bad to understand. Did they speak too fast, or they did not speak English well? Sometimes I comforted myself. Since then, whenever I go out, I must ask my husband to escort me as a translator when needed.  Moreover, I needed to stay at home when my husband was on duty in his uncle’s auto body shop. Can anyone imagine that I had to stay at home six days a week?  I could not go anywhere by myself such as shopping or even to the grocery store. I did not know how to drive, nor did I have a license yet. Conversely, if I was in my country, I could go anywhere I wanted by motorcycle. Additionally, I came to America while I was pregnant, so I could not go to school, or even find a job. Consequently, it was impossible for me to find a friend to talk to during that time. Communicating with others was very difficult to me at the beginning, and it made me lack confidence and  feel isolated.

            Adapting to a new life in a new country will never be as easy as  we  think. I left my family, my friends, my country’s traditional culture and relocated in a place where I needed to start from the beginning; like a baby leaves his/her mother’s womb to discover his/her new life. It could be one of the new challenges in my life that I should overcome. I, however, need to keep moving and changing myself to integrate into the life that I have chosen. Despite the fact that I was lost in the transition, America is not only a country where my family has reunited, but it also a country where we welcomed our little baby. Thomas Fuller said, “All things are difficult before they are easy.” I am in the process of transformation in a country where I can  only have trust in the future.